How to meditate through anxiety, panic, and depression
Anxiety and panic.
When I first began to experience anxiety, especially panic attacks, I could not meditate directly on the experience. First, I had to convince myself that I would not die from the panic attack.
Panic attack symptoms mimic a heart attack. So, I went to the emergency room not once, not twice, not three times, but more times than I can remember. Each time, kind medical professionals checked me thoroughly and told me I did not have any heart problems but was probably suffering from anxiety.
If we encounter an experience in which the thoughts and body sensations come so fast that they override our skill at separating them, we probably can’t meditate through that. Shinzen calls this “freak out.”27
When I first heard him use that expression, I knew that was what happened when I had extreme anxiety that turned into panic. Even after years of meditation, my ability to focus and maintain equanimity was no match for the virtual flood of thoughts and sensations.
Meditating on extreme anxiety and panic is PhD level stuff. Trauma-informed practitioners offer techniques that combine meditation with other practices. It’s a bit like dipping your toe into meditation and then taking it out, titrating the dose, so to speak, in order to prevent freak-out. It is beyond the scope of this book, but I have mentioned it in the Resources section in the back of Make Every Move a Meditation.
To stave off freak-out (although I doubt they would call it that), a mental health professional might suggest anti-anxiety medications. I choose not to take anything addictive. I have no opinion on what you should do. That’s between you and your doctor. If you have addiction issues, be aware of that and do what you need.
Not having medication to shield me from the symptoms forced me to deal with panic head-on. But first, I had to become convinced a panic attack would not kill me. Yes, I felt like I was dying. My mind screamed, “You are going to die!” I also feared I would pass out, but I did not. I used meditation to get through.
With the right effort, most people can build the focus and equanimity necessary to tease out the thoughts and body sensations and limit the suffering around anxiety. But to be willing to do so, you have to be done. Really, really done. And you probably will have had to try many other things first. Again, no judgment. Just know I’m cheering you on regardless of what you choose.
Depression
With my depression, heaviness of body, sluggish mind, and defeatist thoughts become my objects of meditation. Walking the dog in what felt like slow motion, I noticed how the thoughts arose and passed away. “This will never end.” And “If I were a better person, I could just push through.” And
“Why is this happening to me?”
I did not try to push these thoughts away, reframe them, or even question them. Instead, I noticed. I let them arise, talk, and pass away. Often, by the end of our walk, they dissipated. Other days, they remained. But I did not get caught in them. Meditation while walking reduced the suffering they caused.
This is another example of separating the yarns of emotion. Untangling threads of thought and body sensation while maintaining a calm mental state reduces the suffering around the symptoms of mental health challenges.
27 Shinzen Young, “Shinzen Young: The Science of Enlightenment, Part 1.” Sounds True. Accessed November, 2021. resources.soundstrue.com/transcript/shinzen-young-thescience-of-enlightenment-part-1.
I have included more than twenty “Your Turn” exercises in the book Make Every Move a Meditation.
This excerpt is from Make Every Move a Meditation by Nita Sweeney. Buy the paperback, ebook, or audiobook now at Amazon or Mango Publishing Group.
