Dispelling confusion around suicidal ideation

This Facebook meme from The Depression Project hit home about suicidal ideation.

People who have never been depressed, especially for long stretches, don’t understand suicidal ideation. The idea of wanting to die seems ridiculous.

“Why would you want to die? Can’t you think of something more positive? Can’t you think about the people you would leave behind?”

Um. Nope. And we really don’t want to die. But our minds tell us it’s an option. And some days, the pain of depression makes leaving the planet seem like a relief.

Gratefully, I have access to (privilege of) tools that keep me on the planet. So far, they have worked. Not everyone is so fortunate.

Recently, we lost two friends whose minds convinced them they (and the rest of the world) would be better off if they were gone.

It’s heartbreaking. It’s also very real.

Many people with depression, myself included, fake being “well.” Not every day, but more often than we care to admit. And sometimes even the people closest to us don’t want to hear it. It’s more than they can bear. Or they can listen, but they would prefer we not tell others. It’s too much.

Please be gentle with those around you.

If someone tells you they’re depressed, for the love of all that is lovely, please do not suggest they think good thoughts or snap out of it or tell them they are being overly dramatic. Don’t try to cheer them up.

Instead, ask if they would like a hug or a glass of water. Invite them to go for a walk even if they don’t want to talk.

Ask when their next therapy or psychiatry appointment is. If they don’t have one, ask if you can help them make one.

Be present with their difficult feelings even if it makes you uncomfortable.

It could make all the difference.